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I keep thinking

I keep thinking about the last time that we were intimate and how complete I felt. The way you touched me roused me out of my slumber on the sofa and had my nipples standing to attention; aroused, ready, peaked, engaged. My body always responds so quickly to your touch I can’t even control it sometimes. Not that I want control. I enjoy being under yours.

I enjoy being under you.

The last time that we were intimate you had me face down so I couldn’t see what you were doing, I could only feel. Feel your warm hands spread my legs open. I swear I could feel your eyes on my most intimate place. She was bare. I felt your fingers caress me. My thighs and buttocks. I felt your warm breath and heard that noise you make when you’re enjoying me. I love that noise. I love you.

I keep thinking about how your finger slid inside me, gently, smoothly. Your other hand playing with my bum cheeks or were you rubbing my clit? Both hands made me quiver and clench around your finger.

That time you bent closer and I could feel your warm breath at my warmth…is that cheesy? She is warm though isn’t she, my pussy? Warm. Wet. Tight. Open. Your tongue and lips kissing, licking, sucking.

I keep thinking about how I moaned and came and came and came. All over your fingers and lips and mouth. I felt so free and unashamed. So safe and loved and sexy and present to that moment. I wasn’t thinking about anything else or anyone else. Just you and me doing adult things right at that moment.

I keep thinking about you.

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I’m Still in Love

Happy New Year all!

I’m still in love with my guy. 2015 was a wonderful, fulfilling and positive year, as I had hoped. He did not disappoint me at all. In fact he excited, surprised, pleased and made me fall in love with him over again. Ah life is GOOOOD!

2016 looks set to be another positive year as we’ve grown even closer and surprised each other with our happiness, I didn’t even realise you could be this happy and content. I will stop gushing…but not yet!

Is there a point to this post other than to share my good joy and happiness? Yes! It is to share my good joy and happiness so that those of you out there who are still single and looking for love in 2016 shall not give up!

Do not give up! Love is coming for you. Love is on the way and it is waiting for you to receive it. Keep your heart, mind and eyes open and your soul ready. Love will not come in the package you expect and it will most definitely hit you when you least expect it. Do not get caught up on someone’s race or age, as long as they are mentally, spiritually and financially stable, treat you really good, and the bedroom stays hot then you better go and get your life! My guy is not my usual type but damn he is blasting all of what I thought I wanted out of the window!!!

Love cannot be planned or put off, it cannot be controlled or summoned it will happen when it happens. The only thing that you can do right now is prepare yourself for it, be ready to receive it, and be open to let love in. I did so dating, crying, wondering, praying and emotional work when I was looking for a partner. When he appeared I was wide open spiritually that I just let him in as a friend and the rest all played out as if I was in a dream.

Work on your blocks to love, because believe me they exist and they are getting in your way. Work on your repetitive noise in your head, that little voice that is always judging you and everyone else before anything amazing can even take place. Work on yourself, building your self confidence and enjoying life as it is today; there are so many that didn’t make it to 2016 so thank God you’re here to see another day.

This is just advice as these are things I had to do and am still doing to enable love to come into my life and stay in my life. Now that I have been successful in finding a relationship I have realised that there is a whole different set of problems and issues I must work on. Finding a partner was never going to be the end of my story, just the end of the ‘being single and dating’ chapter. Now my relationship chapter is under way and I am learning new things about myself everyday.

I shall be posting more this year and sharing help, advice and uplifting stories to whomever wishes to read.

Stay blessed!

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I’m in Love

I’m in love.

Happily, sensibly, specially, wonderfully and wildly.

He’s taking up my time, my mind and my heart. It’s not this guy, it’s somebody else entirely. It started as a wild, sudden ‘affair’ but turned into something really surprising and heartwarming. It turned into love.

I’m happy and excited but I will start writing again and fill you all in on life, love and juicy hot stuff.

Life is so surprising, I remember this time last year I was online and going to all sorts of dating events trying to meet someone and then in the end it was someone I knew all along. Funny that.

This year promises to be very wonderful and fulfilling.

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I’ve Decided

A bit early in the game but I’ve picked a race and I’m going to run with guy 3. So far so good and I am open to giving him a chance as he has really got my mind and not just my physical. The more I’ve got to know him the more I am intrigued and his list of positives keeps growing, even the negatives don’t bother me.

Will this be the greatest love story of all time? Will we get married and raise a family in blissful happiness? Will I bear his last name? No-one knows, especially not me! But for now I am going to enjoy getting to know him.

Watch this space…


How do I Decide?

I’ve found myself in a bit of a conundrum of sorts. I’m currently dating/seeing 3 men at the same time. They are all wonderful in their own way and the greedy/single part of me wants to keep them all to myself but the mature/relationship part of me knows that I need to pick a race and run as my mum would say.

This weekend 2 of them asked me what do I really want in life, do I want to settle down or just keep having fun? It was weird that they should both ask me that as the third guy had brought this up last week as well. Obviously they can tell that my time is being divided and they aren’t getting enough of it.

I am deeply flattered that all 3 men want me to decide as this means they all want to be with me in a more serious way. At first things just happened so unexpectedly that I didn’t even have time to take a moment, let alone think about where any of this would lead. It was all so much fun and my senses were overwhelmed, I just wanted to feel not think, be stimulated not decide. Now I’ve been asked to think more deeply and I’m not sure what to do. But I am sure of one thing, I want love. I do. I want a real committed relationship and I shouldn’t let fear or too much fun get in the way.

Maybe I should list the positives and negatives.

Guy 1:

Met him on Tinder back in early June/late May and we hit it off instantly our shared love of the World Cup bringing us closer together.


  • He has so much chill – really cool guy, so laid back and easy to be around and talk to.
  • We partake in some shared interests, football, blazing, laziness.
  • Very communicative – he tells me everything and is open.
  • Funny
  • Gorgeous – he does actually have model features
  • Gentle, very considerate and kind.
  • Similar backgrounds


  • Not very ambitious
  • A bit too laidback – he spends a lot of time at home alone.
  • We never go anywhere fun
  • Lives quite far from me
  • Suspect friends
  • Not the best kisser
  • I can’t see a real serious future but maybe I’m jumping the gun.

Guy 2:

We met back in November last year and dated until January this year but had a bit of a barney and I cut contact, he randomly got back in touch after failed attempts to reach me and we hit it off again pretty instantly after I accepted his apology.


  • Also has a lot of chill, really cool
  • Also shared interests – music, travelling, blazing, movies
  • Huge – he could crush me with his bare hands which really turns me on.
  • Very good kisser
  • Amazing in bed – the chemistry is just great and effortless.
  • Strong silent type
  • Alot of ambition – studying for ACCA and working in accountancy and looking to buy a house.
  • Very complimentary and observant – he always notices and compliments me on my clothes or hair or nails.


  • A bit too silent sometimes, communication isn’t his strength.
  • Can be a bit immature sometimes.
  • Not as dominant as I like, wants me to lead the relationship.
  • Financially can be a bit shortcoming.
  • Lives at home – his mum is in and out of the country or his sister is always visiting which limits our time together, but then again I still live at home so I’m hardly one to talk.

Guy 3:

We met on a night out and immediately hit it off.


  • Ready for a relationship – like straightaway he wants us to be together.
  • Fun – he is toooo much fun, really the life & soul like me.
  • Tall and cute – physically he is very much my type…if I have one.
  • Communicative – calls and texts every day.
  • Ambitious – hardworking and serious about his career.
  • Intelligent and funny- he knows all the references to songs like I do, random but so cool and he is very sharp and witty.
  • Sweet and affectionate.


  • Talks too much – really does overtalk and sometimes about nothing or usually about himself.
  • Overly affectionate – sometimes he crowds my personal space.
  • Moving too fast – too ready to jump into a relationship with me, I need time.
  • Lives far away outside London – his new job took him away.
  • I don’t think we are sexually compatible.
  • Likes to lick my ears, gross.

So that didn’t make it any easier! Hmmm I guess I will give myself some more time and see how things go. Maybe in a month or two I will really know what or who I want…if someone new doesn’t come along that is.

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Just Good Sex

Ok so a few weekends ago I received an unexpected call from a guy I was dating earlier in the year. I was very surprised to hear from him as we didn’t really part ways amicably. The first 40 seconds of the call was taken up with me asking “Who is this?” as I’d deleted his number so had no idea if he was one of the many guys I had met at Notting Hill Carnival.

He was quite upset that I had deleted his number and was like “come on B you don’t remember me.” Errrmmm no. Then he dropped his name and I nearly hung up. I was like “Awww helll naww, ain’t nobody got time for this” (ratchet ghetto voice). I really hadn’t recognized his voice straight away as I’ve been dating so much this year. He could have been anyone, not in that way get your minds right!

Our conversation continued with me reminding him of his past behavior and him first trying to deny, then saying I shouldn’t remember the past, then apologizing. Hmm I’m not too sure why I gave him the time to talk to me but I guess to be honest time had passed for me too and I wasn’t bearing any grudges. I was in a happy place.

He then invited me to a little drink up he was having to celebrate some changes he was having in his life, new job, flat life etc. He was obviously in a happy place as well.

To cut a long story short I ended up going round with one of my girls, it was a Saturday and I didn’t wanna just stay indoors watching movies with another female. If you haven’t clocked by now I love guys. and their company. We went round, had some drinks listened to some music and then the fun began.

My mate disappeared with one of his friends and we went for a drive in his BMW. He was showing off but the little girly part of me loved it. When we got back to his place the energy in his flat had changed, I think my friend was getting naughty on the sofa. He kept rubbing my arms (I have very smooth skin) and I kept giggling (I was a bit embarrassed that my friend was getting kinky and it was turning me on). Then I just thought to myself ‘have some fun too’.

So we did.

The best fun I have had in ages. That is all.


Whatever Happened to Courting?

I’ve been dating again and have gone on 2 second dates with 2 different guys. Both guys have astonished me with their speediness. Somehow in someway if you go on a second date with a guy it means you are in a relationship or they are entitled to to your body.

Whatever happened to courting? Why can’t we date and get to know each other? What is with the rush?

Both guys seemed like reasonable men but by the second date they were just ready to jump into a relationship with me without really knowing me. This obviously scares me away as I don’t know them AT ALL, the whole point of dating is to get to know one another. The first guy cooked me dinner and we watched movies with his mates. Then his mates excuse themselves and he tries to put his hand down my cleavage. At my refusal he had the nerve to ask me “what’s so special about your breasts?” Huh?! They are breasts and they are mine! If they weren’t special you wouldn’t be trying to touch them. And furthermore is that comment supposed to excite me? No I didn’t think so as I was extremely turned off. He then persisted in his attempts to get too intimate with my body and complained that “why can’t you just be silent and let me do what I want, we’re together now aren’t we?”


I took a deep breath  and left.

The second guy I went out with yesterday. We talk alot on the phone and he’s cool but he blazes ALOT! I blaze but not everyday. We met and he was stoned. We walked along the Royal Victoria Docks and enjoyed the late evening sunset then he invited me back to his mate’s flat for something to eat…and smoke hehehehe. The teenager in me went along with it all but the adult in me was chastising and saying “no return home we’re too grown for this!”

His mate’s flat was the penthouse, I was worried that I was in a Naija crime lord’s den just bare guys, huge flat screen tv, a jar of weed (yes jar) and several bottles of expensive alcohol. The view was amazing but this was turning into a scene out of a Nollywood movie.

We blazed and I chilled but it hit me that I didn’t really fancy this dude, at the same moment he started stroking my leg and talking about me staying the night and how I was “officially his girl.”


I just put his hand back to his own leg and said no we’re friends.

The moral of this post is I would like to be courted a little bit, but then again I guess I should stop going to people’s homes it gives men the wrong idea, yawn. Also I guess I didn’t really fancy either of these guys otherwise I would have been more up for their rushed advances.

*Sighs* I need to meet someone that excites me and has his chill on. Someone I fancy but also respect. Someone that I can really enjoy the time we spend together.